The Story of Susan Poupart

hello my name is alexandria poupart
I am on a mission and am reaching out for your help. For years i have been writing journals and diaries of my life experiences surrounding my mothers unfortunate unsolved murder. Her name is Susan Poupart and her case is listed on the wiki online dictionary. I live in such a small community and her murders are being protected by my community and the county in which i live has had a hard time getting any involvement or help from these people. I am real and my story is real i believe i am at the point in my life where i can openly speak of my unfortunate circumstance. Her name is real as well as our story. The men that took her life are going up for trial within the next few years, in my hopes to shed some light on the case i feel as if this is something i must do. For her as well as myself and my family. It is my strength and determination that has helped me cope with my reality of my situation. I feel as if i cannot just sit here and remain silent anymore, i feel i owe it to her to do something good for my self. I was only 3 when she was killed and sadly have to memories or her which torments my soul with thoughts of my own mortality and unresolved losses. I think it is my resilience of negative thoughts and feeling my mind creates that sets me apart from the people within my community, Lac du Flambeau Wisconsin. Sadly i am bound by community because everyone knows and they cover it up for the sake of these men that killed her. The guilt that haunts me and the pain i feel of losing her, my anger, the confusion of the situation. Thats is why i feel it is of great importance to me do this, i feel how can someone who hasn't lived through my experiences could possibly relate let alone understand how i felt in terms of living. i am convinced that my story and my life has value for anyone struggling to overcome their troubled past. I need to write this book to leave a record of my life and hers to fully understand myself and my morals. So to the people where i have been born and raised know of my courage and determination that has emerged among unspeakable tragedy, destructive lifestyles i lived to prove how important my healing is to me. My ordeal is real and i am still here living with this situation while maintaining my self control throughout my emotional as well as physical hardships bestowed upon me. I need to convert these feeling and thoughts into something great to do good for myself and my family. my whole life i lived in fear, darkness and almost complete isolation and yet i managed to stay positive about my life's situation. Liberation my freedom my joys my relief my children. I am now a mother, yet my nightmare has continued. This loss i have has giving me the ability to adapt and hide my pain, the confusion and the alienation of it all. The ability to live with anonymity and feelings of being mother and father less has become my inability to feel safe or close to my loved ones. There is the unresolved bereavement, shame and my inability to remember her and what our life should and or could have been if she wasn't killed and the continuing fear and hatred for these men that raped and murdered her, whom go with out punishment. Recovered, relived and recognize my grief and pain to resolve some issues i have been dealing with for the better part of 24 years.Remaining quiet among the mist of this horror and unbelievable loss with out feeling as if i am or was going crazy or falling apart. I learned to hide my emotions, i would image it wasn't real it wasn't happening to me that i could run and hide i could pretend i was someone else. Thus in which as giving me the ability to be unobtrusive to disappear as she did. Thus has left me convictions that i could never depend on others for security and understanding or safety. Over the years i have been painfully reflecting on my uncomfortable past and present situation getting my self ready for the trials to come. What has enabled me to be so resilient so good nature, is it my refusal to allow painful memories affect me now as an adult, or is it facing these men with my rage and sorrow that leads me more directly towards resolution. They may have raped and murdered her took her away from me but i will not allow them to break my spirit. I refuse to feel as if i am a victim of this heinousness crime. I am a survivor and self confidence is the key to my survival that has given me a sense of who i am. I struggle everyday and will so until this has come to an end. My experiences that i lived throughout the chaos of my life i have made it and it has made me the better person i know my mother would have raised me to be if only giving the chance. it has taking me years to understand but i am beginning to understand how it happened and what they did to her and what they did to me.
I am real as well as my story.
Susan R. Poupart is her name and she was real.
You can do some research on her and if u feel as if this is my time to get my story heard, i look forward to hearing from you.
I am ready to do this just not alone.
I also love your page it speaks volumes to me i feel as if you are speaking to me indirectly through your messages.
Thank you for your time,
Sincerely,
Alexandria Poupart
From Lac du Flambeau, Wisconsin

(This story was shared with me from a Facebook Post from Alex Poupart, 2/11/2015, RLeith)